Navigating Life’s Toughest Moments: Steps to Conquer Reality

Our life definitely has its fair share of tough realities, and most of the time, it’s hard to even keep up. I know that it’s hard to face reality because you weigh in on the consequences of today’s actions versus yesterday’s actions versus tomorrow’s action.

The more you contemplate your life and go over your actions again and again in your mind, the harder it will be for you to move forward in your life–trust me. Contemplate it some more and you’ll really doubt the answer. Believe me when I say that if we stay positive and resilient, we can definitely conquer and accept life’s realities.

The steps to conquer reality aren’t impossible to reach, but it takes effort and resilience. My journey to conquering my reality was not the easiest but there a couple things it taught me that I believe would help you out on your journey.

As such, allow me to share what I have realized about life thus far and what I did to manage them.

People will Make Time for Those Things That They Find Valuable to Them.

Whether it is a family, potential partner, friend, or even a recruiter, no one is too busy if they think you are someone important. In these scenarios, do not wait for them to reply as you might be waiting for an eternity and that message won’t really come. Rather, I suggest that you put your time and energy into the things that will be worth your time.

Based off of a Harvard Research Feature, “Across all of the people we surveyed who were working full time we
consistently found that maximizing time spent on high value activities was positively related to life satisfaction People who were dissatisfied with their lives indicating a or for life satisfaction on a point scale spent only about 42% hours of their waking nonwork time excluding hours for work sleep and personal hygiene on high value activities.”

We are only here on earth once and once we just waste it on things or people that aren’t worthy of our time, then regret is another hard pill to swallow—the only difference being you don’t have the time anymore.

By letting go of people who are just taking up wasted space should be let go—and through this, we would be able to free up this space for those people who will make an effort to make their presence known. This is one of the most important steps to conquer reality because you cannot always stretch yourself thin for others. Don’t be a people pleaser–when at the end of the day–you are the one who takes a hit the most when it comes to disruptive levels of mood swings, energy and even time and financial decisions.

Let’s get more into that in the next section of “Navigating Life’s Toughest Moments.”

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Don’t be a People Pleaser Because It’s Impossible to Please Everyone.

We can never please or satisfy everyone ever. Not everyone will like you for you, and that there will always be someone who is not a fan of your choices or your character—and that’s perfectly okay.

A lot of reasons for why people tend to fall into the mindset of pleasing others is because they are scared of rejection based on their actions, beliefs or thoughts. Another popular belief is a fear of failure–all according to a Psychology Today article.

I remember vividly having this phase in my life because I didn’t know any better. I grew up with parents who saw anything outside of the people-pleaser behavior as rude. Because my parents were people pleasers and kids learn from the environment around them, I took it in and didn’t realize the vicious cycle that I had to break until I was in my twenties.

Instead of putting your attention on other people, waiting for them to like you, why not put your time and energy on those people or things that truly matter to you. It may be hard at first, if you have been a people pleaser, but you must have the courage to always choose what is best for you.

While we are discussing why putting yourself first is important, let’s also discuss another human aspect of what it means to be alive and what how to take steps to conquer reality better. Keep reading to find out!

People Will Always Think of Themselves First as an Instinct.

Though there are those people who are utterly kind and compassionate, they may feel overloaded too and just pick themselves first before you. According to a Hub Publishing article, it discusses how we are encoded to do what we must to sustain our lives; at the core, we are instinctual humans who want to live.

Now does that all make us monsters and selfish creatures? No – let me explain why.

Though we are born to be competitive creatures, we are also creatures that fair best within a community of like-minded people and those who share core values and beliefs as the next person. Since that part is also true, what this means for us is that sometimes the only way conquer your reality is to be a bit selfish for your own good.

As I’ve experienced, people demand more of me than I can give them. It sometimes made me question my worth, especially if I think that I was being taken advantage of—and it’s not a great feeling, believe me. From there, I began setting clear boundaries between myself and others and saw a great deal of difference.

I know that it may seem like you are letting them down, however the consequences are more severe if you tolerate them. More than this, I’ve found that real courage actually lies in knowing when to say “no” to someone.

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You aren’t Entitled to Anything from the World; It Owes you Nothing.

We should have known this from the start. We can be the best of what we do—the smartest, the coolest, the kindest, or the strongest person the world has ever seen—but if this falls under perceptive eyes, if no one acknowledges this, it won’t change a thing.

At this juncture, you will be left with two choices whether you go on with your life complaining about life being unfair and not getting what you deserve, or explore the world and pursue whatever you want, whether you get success or not. With these choices alone, which path are you inclined to choose? Between these options, which path do you think successful people take?

These are the kinds of questions that will help you decipher between living to make it to the next day and what it really means to be living for yourself.

Now, let’s move onto the next steps to conquer reality–the art of owning up to your own actions.

Don’t Always Make Excuses or Justify Things for Yourself.

This is probably what I’ve struggled with before and the reason why I am sharing this to you now.

It is incredibly easy to blame the circumstances that we are in or even the people around us when we feel that we aren’t doing good. But you know the truth is much farther than that. There will always be a valid reason why we are living the way that we are living now, and it’s not about our environment or the people we have interacted with, it’s about the choices we made.

Once I took the reigns of my own life and realized that I have the most impact on my own consequences, it made me feel more confident in being selective about the day to day decisions I make.

This brings me to my next point, actually– which is by far the most important reality to understand when it comes to weighing in on steps to conquer reality: our lives are shaped by our actions, not our thoughts.

Our Lives are Shaped by our Actions, not by our Thoughts.

I know this is the same with you too, but I haven’t seen anyone truly felt stable in their life if they never acted on their drive to make that change.

Life, in order to progress with anything, requires some real action. Even if you have the best plan in mind, complete with all contingencies, it becomes futile if you’ll not put it into action. According to one blog by Skillfinder International, being proactive means continuously making those small day to day decisions that reflect effort.

We are the ones responsible for reinforcing our own ideas and goals. These steps may seem meager or small, but it will shape our future and identity over time.

If we don’t do anything, our plans will just become figments of our imagination, never seeing the light of day. This goes to also saying that our lives are defined by our actions, not by our thoughts.

If you remember being in preschool, you may remember the question “Who is your hero?” Most children default to saying someone who has impossible strength and power that can evoke strength–like superman.

What people may realize now is that our line of reasoning for why we chose an unattainable figure to represent our hero is because we are attracted to who we want to become. Meaning–when you take all the unrealistic aspect away, you are left with the understanding that you are own hero.

You are already envisioning the you that you want to become, whether you’ve realized it or not yet. Now that we went over the biggest steps to conquer reality, let’s recap on everything we learned and why we are our own heroes.

We are all Heroes of Ourselves.

I think it’s worth reiterating at the end—you are your own hero—and nobody else can save you from your own life. So when life throws us challenges that could seem beyond our control, it’s easy to always hope for the quick fix—a miracle—but it has been proven time and time again that it’s only you who can fix it, and that is by doing something.

We might grow older and realize a lot of things, such the capacity of patience and energy our mom had to take care of us and the family or how our dad would still have the energy to fix things around the house right after his 9-5. These types of realizations will help shape the way you not only view others, but your own potential and worth in ability.

FAQs

Considering all these, I think it’s quite obvious that life simply does not work that way—it’s not as easy as 1-2-3. There will always be challenges, risks, and uncertainties, all of which are inevitable, and sometimes, there just won’t be any magic solutions.

During these times, I hope that you find comfort in knowing that you can take control of your life, and that by being proactive and confident, you’ll be able to face whatever it is that comes your way. Always remember that success comes from your own experience and efforts and not from outside help or intervention.

Midlaine Richard-Pean

Midlaine Richard-Pean is a double-board Certified Family Nurse Practitioner and Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner, dedicated to a holistic approach to patient care. With a deep passion for healing, she finds no greater fulfillment than empowering individuals on their journey to well-being. Half of her nursing career has been devoted to psychiatric health, reflecting her unwavering commitment to helping those with mental illnesses. Through compassionate care and advocacy, Midlaine Richard-Pean strives to make a meaningful difference in the lives of those who seek her help.

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